Because, first of all, we don’t talk about it with anyone. This is a lonely struggle.
Being overweight has been a thing for me since 7th grade. The girls all did a “what do you weigh” in the locker room before gym class and I was maybe 4 pounds higher than those of similar height. It was the beginning.
Do you remember the first moment you felt overweight?
My history with fitness started in the first grade. Any time we would be made to run, my side hurt badly. I gave up on running early on. I didn’t play sports. I hated all forms of physical activity. At summer camp they would always make us do things like baseball, frisbee football, capture the flag or some hot and sweaty game before we were allowed in the pool. I always called that “forced fun”.
This was a problem I made for myself. Although I wasn’t truly overweight until college, I was never, ever, physically fit.
And so it seemed like every part of my life was tainted by it.
I just wanted to wear the pretty clothes. Sure, they made the clothes in bigger sizes, but it is not the same. The challenge to make my body look its best was exhausting. And my body looking its best was still a disappointment to me.
I had to give up high heel shoes way earlier than I wanted to. I had no muscle to support it.
Being in a photograph…ugh. No matter how I managed to show the best angle, all I could think about was having that photo around.
Being unfit also led to prolific and embarrassing sweating in the slightest heat. The sweat from my head would be so bad it would run down my back and make it look like I had peed my pants. I suffered the heat, I suffered the embarrassment, and my family suffered as I stopped wanting to go places in the summer.
And there were the aches and pains. My back, my legs, my ankles, my feet. If it wasn’t those, it was massive fatigue and symptoms leading me to wonder if I had an undiagnosed condition of some kind.
It’s really not something we care to talk about with anyone. I didn’t.
I didn’t even talk to God about it. I just didn’t bother. I knew it was a problem I made for myself and I didn’t feel like I should get His help.
The thing is, what we need most in our suffering is Jesus. And He doesn’t want us to take it upon ourselves just because we think we caused it. We may have to deal with our consequences…but He wants to help us through that part too.
When I want to ask God for something, I usually ask myself, “Does that seem like something God wants?”
God loves me, but I know that my being thin is not on His list. He already thinks I am beautiful. He always looks inward. He knows my heart.
But God, He wants me to care for my body. I know that because the Bible says our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit and that we must honor God with our body.
So God, He cares about me being healthy. He wants me to to healthy for the plans He has for me. I need to be healthy for my kids. I need to be healthy to have more energy for His work. I need to be healthy to get that struggle out of my mind and every day life. Getting healthy is on His list.
So I prayed for His help.
Even if our laziness or overeating or sin caused it, He will still help us through whatever struggle we face. Because that is what He does. We fail, and He wants us to turn to Him for help.
That was 7 years ago. And now I call myself healthy. It was not overnight. It was a dance of my follow-through and God’s provision. It has to be a long journey because God can’t undo everything for us quickly. He loves the learning process. We need the process to learn about Him. We learn about His love for us, and how he carries us and motivates us and provides for us, through the struggle. He will take any opportunity to grow us.
Decide today to be healthy. And just put one foot in front of the other, walking with Jesus.
Don’t get discouraged.
When you fail or things get busy, make that a rest stop and know that you will pick it up and keep going.
Don’t beat yourself up.
Once you are on the journey to health, just walk it. You need some time to peel away layers and years of bad habits and consequences.
Don’t rush it either.
The most important thing is to let go of your bad feelings about yourself, and feel good every day knowing you are moving toward health.
It’s worth it. It is worth it for the growth in your faith.
The Bible says we can REJOICE in SUFFERING. Click here to read where it says that!
Want more details? I wrote more on this weight journey here on my personal blog: HOW I GOT HEALTHY, AND ONE MIRACLE DAY 7 YEARS LATER.
