Depression

My husband’s alarm goes off and I pretend I didn’t hear it - convincing my body to ignore it and go back to sleep. The bed is warm and I know if I move the day will begin and I’m not ready to face it. And yet I know if I don’t get up I will be angry with myself for being ever behind on the never-ending list of things that must get done.

My body doesn’t move. It’s like my brain doesn’t know how to function and moving is one more decision too much for my brain to handle. Trapped by the bed and my own self, I lay there frozen in position. The longer I stay, the more stressed I feel, but the inertia needed to move the heavy mass on my shoulders and heart is too much.

Finally, once the level of stress is comparable to
It’s a dark crisp fall morning. The street lights are still on and there is hardly any traffic on the roads.

It is time to wake up my teenage daughter for school. My daughter is not a morning person much like her Dad and really struggles to get out of bed every day. However, her struggle to get out of bed is even harder as she wrestles with major depression and other mental health problems. I dread waking her up most mornings because the struggle is real. The struggle isn’t only on her but for me to encourage and motivate her to get ready for school. If you have any experience with depression or anxiety, getting out of bed can be really tough. It is challenging even as a parent to motivate myself in a loving way daily to get her out of bed.
I don’t know about you, but the Christmas season is exciting AND frustrating. It’s exciting to spend time with people I don’t see very often. I take paid time off from work, which allows me more time in my day to do things I like to do like take my dog to the dog park when the sun is out, going to a workout class in the middle of the day, and staying up late to finish that movie I’ve been really wanting to see.

And it’s frustrating. The lack of structure in my day makes it hard to find motivation for things I should do like go grocery shopping, clean my apartment, and maintain personal hygiene. In addition to this, since many of my friends travel for the holidays, I often have less opportunities for quality social time.