Anxiety

It was mid-December, and we were in the throes of Christmas preparations. Each year I make a list of each person I want to give gifts to, plan a budget, and write out some ideas. I was studying the list, feeling completely overwhelmed that we could hardly afford gifts for our children let alone anyone else on the list. The days were counting down quickly, and it felt so hopeless. Our family was in a difficult financial situation, and this was just one more thing added to that list. The anxiety was coming over me like waves as I imagined Christmas morning with nothing under the tree.

In the darkness of this moment, I felt the Holy Spirit ask me, “Can you praise Me right now?” I was dumbfounded and just sat there as I considered the question. My ultra-convicting, brutally honest answer was,
I’m normally a great sleeper (sorry to all you insomniacs out there!). I’ve gotten to the point where I get sleepy at an embarrassingly early time, at times competing with my own kids’ bedtime routines, but I need my sleep, dang it! Once I’m down, I can usually stay down for the night, a robust 6-8 hours, depending on the day’s schedule. That is, unless something wakes me (preschooler needing to go to the bathroom, preteen waking with a coughing fit, highschooler needing his middle of the night bowl of cereal fix…), at which point I’m wide awake.

And this is when the wrestling happens. Just me and my mind…Will I be able to get back to sleep?
Anxiety is the same for every person. At its core, anxiety is the feeling of uneasiness, a worry of the unknown. However, anxiety can manifest differently in each person, as we are all created differently, and it makes sense that we would all deal differently as well.

I can’t speak for you, but I’ve noticed that I myself tend to deal with anxiety in a worldly way.

We can google just about any situation and have an answer pop up within seconds. While this may give us a momentary relief or answer, how are we to know this is an answer that is indeed intended for us?