Pregnancy & Infant Loss

Broken relationships. Sickness. Miscarriage. Death of a loved one. Loss of a pet. There are so many different things that might contribute to a feeling of grief throughout the Christmas season. During this time of year, grief sometimes feels unwelcome or misunderstood. It seems out of place with the joyful decorations and parties and parades that occupy the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I think the stark opposition between grief and joy only serves to intensify the feeling of grief for one who is sad. You’re not supposed to feel unhappy during the holidays, right? But what if you do? Is it wrong? Should Christmas just pass you by?

In December of 2015, I experienced a miscarriage. It was my second in six months. Medically, I needed a D&C to help my body complete the
Almost exactly a year ago my first child was removed from my body. There were no joyful nurses, no cries of new life, just a handful of somber medical staff performing a D&C to remove the 9-week-old baby who had passed away in my womb.

We named our child Eden as a reminder that God would one day restore his creation to perfection and unite us in resurrection.

As I grieved our precious baby, I wrote about this experience to help myself process the loss. I delved into what the scriptures say about unborn life and found comfort in God's mercy.
Caitlyn Michelle…It’s been 22 years since we met the baby girl we never got to know. We never saw her smile or heard her laugh. We never got to experience the little personality emerging in toddlerhood and through the elementary years. We never got to hear about future hopes and dreams or see her life’s goals come to fruition.

She came into this world too soon, her little body not yet ready to sustain life outside the safety of my womb. Caitlyn was our first—prayed for and rejoiced over—and the loss hit hard.

I wept and cried out to the Lord. There were so