Financial Problems

It was mid-December, and we were in the throes of Christmas preparations. Each year I make a list of each person I want to give gifts to, plan a budget, and write out some ideas. I was studying the list, feeling completely overwhelmed that we could hardly afford gifts for our children let alone anyone else on the list. The days were counting down quickly, and it felt so hopeless. Our family was in a difficult financial situation, and this was just one more thing added to that list. The anxiety was coming over me like waves as I imagined Christmas morning with nothing under the tree.

In the darkness of this moment, I felt the Holy Spirit ask me, “Can you praise Me right now?” I was dumbfounded and just sat there as I considered the question. My ultra-convicting, brutally honest answer was,
Late in my twenties I was drowning.

The water. It felt manageable.

Go deeper. I can handle it. It’s fine.

Soon all I could see is water.

Things got rough. Unexpected things started pulling me under.

The water was all around me, on top of me, in me. Who could help? No one was there. There seemed to be no way out.
I was drowning in debt.