Worthless Archives - LUTHERWOMAN

Loving Lydia: From Worthless to Valued

My rear end up on the couch and my shoulders on the floor below I groaned as I tried to get up safely. Spinning babies was not exactly comfortable as I had reached 39 weeks in my third pregnancy, but I was determined, scared?, to get my breech baby head down. I had two young boys who still needed me to lift them and break up fights sometimes and there was no way I was going to let this pregnancy end in a C-section. We had moved during the pandemic, far away from family, and making friends was difficult. Where would my support be if I needed help after surgery? I had already scrubbed floors that day, another way Dr. Google had told me I could flip a baby, and I was exhausted.

I felt a rather large movement inside of me upon standing.

Detangling my Self-worth from the Flaws I Loathe in the Mirror

Even now, eleven years later, I can still remember the first time a boy pointed out a pimple on my face. We were standing in the lunch line and he mentioned it. That’s it. He just pointed it out and turned back around after I made a face at him, eyes burning with tears. To him it was a simple observation, but to me it was the soul-crushing realization that other people could see my flaws that I tried to keep far away from the daylight. That moment started a years-long battle against my skin, and even my own identity.

At first, it seemed I might just get a few pimples like some of my friends. Pimples that you’d notice, but that would go away within a few days. I reasoned

Just A Little Thunder…

My middle daughter does not like thunderstorms. She begins to shiver at the first rumble, and no matter how many times we try to tell her that nothing is going to happen, she’s not convinced. Sure, they’re loud, they’re menacing, and they can sound pretty scary, but ultimately, as long as you’re inside, they can’t really do anything to you. They might make the lights go out, but they can’t actually hurt you directly.

While I might chuckle at my daughter’s reaction to thunderstorms, I realize that there are times I’m not that different. Cue the devil: ~You know, you’re not really appreciated around here… look how your husband takes you for granted… you deserve

Worthless

Loving Lydia: From Worthless to Valued

Detangling my Self-worth from the Flaws I Loathe in the Mirror

Just A Little Thunder…

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