Margin Matters

People often say to me “You must be so busy!” The truth is, I’m not busy. My life is very full, but it’s intentionally not busy. In fact, my days, weeks, and months have a lot of margin — (and yours can, too.)

As we look around, it seems that living in a state of near-chaos has become the norm in our culture today. People map out their days down to the minutes. They shuffle their kids (and themselves) from place to place, filling the calendar boxes with a whole array of extracurriculars like they’re hoping for a “bingo”. A friend of mine often jokes that when she spends time with friends, the conversation quickly devolves into people giving her their “resume” — a detailed list of “all the things” they’re accomplishing. Busyness has become a societal badge of honor, and we’re all guilty of participating in this at times. 

But here’s the problem: this lifestyle of constantly rushing from place to place leaves little margin in our days, weeks, and months for rest and relationships. Let me tell you plainly right now, mama — a calendar overflowing with “all the things” does not add to your worth! You are cherished and valued simply because you’re a baptized child of God. Your kids are cherished and valued simply because they are baptized children of God. If you never accomplished anything productive again, would that fact change? Your identity is secure solely in the finished work of Christ!

In my 12 short years of motherhood, I’ve learned that leaving some margin (blank space) on my calendar each day allows me to be more productive, and it actually allows me to say “yes” to more of the things that matter. I never want to be perceived as too busy to help a friend in need. If someone calls me for a favor, I pray that I never seem inconvenienced. I want my tribe of people to know that they are truly never a burden, because I have purposefully set aside time each and every day for the little things (or the big ones). 

As we launch into a new school year, a new season boasts the temptation of “all the things”, and some of them are good things. But as keepers of the calendars, we need to be wise and discerning with which things we share our families’ time with. 

As Paul exhorts in Ephesians chapter 5, “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.”

Are we in worship each week, being fed by Word and Sacrament, or does something else stake its claim on our Sunday mornings? Are we gathering regularly with Christian friends for Bible study and times of community, or are we too busy rushing to and from “all the things”? Are we consistently eating meals together as a family, and saying bedtime prayers, or are we stretched thin, and sacrificing those precious moments? These are just a few examples of the kinds of rhythms that we should be consistently nurturing — things that prioritize rest and relationships, with the Lord and with one another. 

For better or for worse, our kids are looking to us for cues on what’s important in life. What we prioritize, they will prioritize. So, what kind of stories do our calendars tell? As we prepare to turn the page on a new month, let’s be intentional about leaving some margin. May our Heavenly Father supply us with the grace that we need to loosen our grip on “all the things”… and may we always encourage one another to cling tightly to the ones that matter most. 

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