Dear single gal sitting around a restaurant table with all of your coupled friends and feeling like a third wheel, I see you.
Dear single gal sitting in the church pew alone, I see you.
Dear single gal standing up in yet another wedding wondering when it will be your turn to wear the white dress, I see you.
Dear single gal going on amazing adventures while wishing you had someone to share the experience with, I see you.
Dear single gal watching a father and mother hug their children while you raise yours alone, I see you.
Dear single gal working hard to provide for yourself and feeling proud of all your accomplishments while also thinking “no one notices…”, I see you.
As a single person, you might often feel invisible. You may even feel like people don’t truly know you or care about you.
You look just like any other woman passing through the doors of your church, and yet no one notices that you feel alone when you sit down at the end of a pew and hope that someone comes to sit with you. You stand up in your friend’s wedding because you love her and feel genuinely so happy for her, and no one knows that it also hurts your heart just a little when you wish the roles could be reversed. Single moms are praised as being some of the strongest women, and no one will ever know that behind the strength you show the world is a feeling of fear or doubt that you can’t do this alone. You enjoy every adventure that you have the freedom of taking, and no one knows how much you hate hearing “it must be nice to have the freedom to do what you want when you want” because to you it sounds like a reminder that you’re alone in this life. You feel such a sense of pride in your ability to provide for yourself, and yet no one knows that you stress out trying to balance work hours, social hours, keeping up with a home, budgeting, and just in general keeping up with all the things in life that would be so much easier if you had someone to share those tasks with.
In light of all those things, perhaps the most difficult part of being single is wanting people to notice you and to know your fears and doubts while at the same time not wanting people to just feel sorry for your situation or to walk on eggshells around you because they’re afraid of hurting your feelings or making you feel awkward. In this instance, being single starts to feel like a balancing act.
To the single gal reading this, I know your struggles, your fears, your insecurities, your doubts, your questions and how all of these are bound up with moments of joy and freedom and excitement over life’s possibilities. I see you. More importantly, God sees you. God knows you. God understands you.
A long time ago a friend reminded me to pray a favorite psalm of mine: “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (37:4, ESV) The Amplified version of this verse reads, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and petitions of your heart.” (AMP) As I write this article, I am in my mid-thirties and still praying that God would send me a husband. My prayer used to just be, “God, please send me a spouse.” Now as I pray this psalm, I pray: “God, help me to delight in You and Your will for me while I wait. Help me to seize the opportunities You send me while I wait. Help me to wait with patience. Grant me this desire: to find a husband to share and build a life with. God, if this is not Your will for my life, please take this desire from my heart and replace it with a desire for what You have planned for me.”
To the single gal reading this, I pray this prayer over you as well.
Life is hard. Being single is hard. Being single does not equal being invisible, though. God sees you. God knows you. “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart,” the true desires of your heart, and only He knows what those are. Entrust your heart with all of its desires and your future to the God who sees you and knows you better than you know yourself. Trust that His will is best for you. May you learn to see the beauty in the stage of life He has you in now while you wait for what is yet to come.
Dear single gal reading this, I see you. God sees you. You are known and loved.