The Importance of Community with Other Moms

Motherhood is one of God’s highest callings and greatest gifts. Those of us who have the vocation of mother have the joy, privilege and responsibility of raising little soldiers for the Kingdom: teaching and training our children in the faith, loving them with the love God has for us, and walking alongside our husbands and God Himself as we help raise our children into men and women of God.

This joy and gift is not without its struggles, as any mother well knows. Some days the task of motherhood seems challenging. Other days it feels downright impossible. And there are dozens of factors that can make me feel like I’m not doing enough, not doing things right, and outright failing. Sometimes I do need a kick in the pants to make changes in my mothering skills and techniques, because no matter how good my intentions, I’m still not perfect. Other times I’m much harder on myself than I need to be, and need reassurance that while I never will be perfect, God’s mercy and grace are big enough to cover all my mistakes and imperfections, and I’m not failing my children just because some days are really hard.

This is when having a community of other moms around us is so important. On our good days and bad, we need fellow moms in the trenches who know what we’re going through, and we need seasoned and experienced moms who can give us wisdom and advice from their own experiences.

The ideal way to have community with other moms is in person. This can be through a local MomCo (formerly MOPs) group, a moms’ or ladies’ Bible study, a homeschool co-op, a prayer group at your kids’ school, or simply a group of friends. But in the absence of any good face-to-face community, or in addition to it, technology provides many ways of connecting with other moms, both those you know personally and those with whom you share common interests even if you have never met in person. I’m blessed to have fellowship with moms in multiple ways, both in-person and online, and there are different benefits to each!

Community with other moms is important for multiple reasons. The first, and perhaps most important, is for mutual encouragement. God’s Word is full of exhortations to encourage others. Paul wrote to the Thessalonians, “Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

The author of Hebrews provides practical and spiritual reasons for encouraging each other. “See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first” (Hebrews 3:12-14). Later in the book he writes, “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another– and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:23-25).

As fellow moms, we can encourage each other to hang in there on the days when the kids won’t get along, we’re exhausted from constantly-interrupted sleep, our patience is gone, or everything just seems to be going wrong. We can encourage each other in the easier seasons too, to embrace those joyful days, and to get in the habit of looking for blessings to carry us through the hard ones. Most importantly, we can encourage one another to look to Jesus for all our help and strength, because only He is the source of it. If we look inside ourselves, or even to each other, for comfort or strength or peace or joy, we will always be disappointed. Jesus promises to give us all of that and so much more than we can ask or imagine.

Another reason to have community with other moms is for help and support. Whether it’s as simple as a quick phone call for recipe advice, or as invested as a friend caring for your other children while you have a new baby, having women around you who are there for you when you need them is a precious, priceless gift. I realize not all of us are blessed with this, but if you don’t currently have such a community, may I encourage you to look for ways to join or start one? Check out some ideas at the end of this post!

One of my favorite things to do is make meals for families when they have new babies. Sometimes I set up a Meal Train and sometimes I join an existing one, but I know from when I’ve had my own babies that there are few things more appreciated by a new mama than not having to cook! I love to cook so it’s fun to make an extra meal for another family, but even if you’re not confident in the kitchen you can still pick up a pizza or some groceries to bless a new mother and her family.

For those of you who are seasoned, experienced mothers, you might consider looking for ways to mentor younger moms, if you’re not doing so already. Some young moms are blessed to have a good relationship with their own mom or mother-in-law, but that’s not always the case. Even for those of us who have amazing moms and MILs, it’s really nice to have another older woman to go to for advice and wisdom.

Another blessing of a mom community is simply having female friends! No matter how wonderful our husbands are and how close we might be to them, husbands are not girlfriends. There are some things that are uniquely female that they just don’t quite understand and never will (and that’s okay!). A girlfriend gets you in different ways than your husband does. And there’s no substitute for a girls’ coffee date or a moms’ movie night! It can be REALLY hard to pursue friendships when we feel like we’re drowning in the busyness and responsibilities of motherhood. But even having a couple of friends you can text or call when you need to chat can make a world of difference in our mental, emotional and spiritual health.

One of my favorite benefits of having a community of mom-friends is the reminder that it’s not just me. This happens most often in the Bible study group I’m in, which has always been a place where we can be very real with each other and count on receiving Biblical wisdom and encouragement from one another. More than once, someone in our group will share about a struggle they have, either in motherhood or just in life generally, and immediately be reassured by the others that they’re not alone!

One of Satan’s most effective tactics is to convince us that we’re alone, both in day-to-day challenges and in the really big, hard things. If we’re alone, we’re vulnerable. If we think it’s just us, we aren’t inclined to look for help or support, but try to fight our battles in isolation. We weren’t made for this. As believers in Jesus, we are part of the body of Christ. No one part operates alone. Each of them depends on the others. 

Paul wrote to the Corinthians, “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you!’ And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!’… But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.” (1 Corinthians 12:21, 24-26)

Furthermore, we are not alone in our weaknesses and struggles because Jesus understands them too. In Hebrews we read, “Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrews 4:14-16).

As fellow moms, we need each other. But much more than that, we need the Lord. Even if we don’t have a great community of other moms to turn to for encouragement, help, wisdom and fellowship, we always have God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And he provides all those things, far better than any friend or mentor ever could! He promises us in his word to give us courage and to always be with us (Joshua 1:9). He grants wisdom freely to those who ask for it (James 1:5). He gives us help in times of trouble (Psalm 46:1). And he is our dearest Friend, Counselor, and Comforter (John 14:16-18).

The best mom-friends will always point you to Jesus and provide encouragement rooted in God’s word. I pray you have a community like that! But if you don’t, it doesn’t mean you’re alone, and it doesn’t mean you never will be part of such a community. If you’re looking for some fellowship with like-minded Christian mamas, here are some resources for you!

The MomCo | Formerly MOPs International, this is a global organization with local groups. I have absolutely loved going to MOPs, and have made some wonderful friends through my local group.

Online communities | Whether you’re a homeschooling mom, a working mom, a new mom, a homesteading mom, or fill-in-the-blank, you can probably find a group online that fits you! A simple search on Facebook or Instagram will provide you with multiple options.

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