“Just Be Positive.”
“If you achieve it, you can do it.”
“Pray harder.”
Have you ever heard one of these popular self-help phrases or maybe even said them yourself? If you’re like me, you’ve dealt with these phrases one or more times in your life. You may have thought that you would be able to encourage and uplift someone. Later, you walked through a tough moment, and someone told you one of these phrases and instead of leaving you comforted, it left you feeling alone and maybe even worse than before.
For me, there is one phrase that I found myself thinking about: nails on a chalkboard. It’s a phrase that to this day, I cringe over. I know that people mean for it to encourage and comfort, but personally it has done the opposite. It has made me angry, bitter, and question what is going on.
“God won’t give you more than you can handle!”
Six years ago, our family walked through what someone would call a Big T Trauma. It was a time where I couldn’t handle the things that were happening. I couldn’t handle the information that was coming in. Cleveland Clinic of Health describes dissociative amnesia as where you can’t remember things about what happened or yourself during that time. This is often found during traumatic events. Friends, there are a good two-three months during the end of 2017 that I cannot tell you what really happened. I mean, I know from people stating and the trials, but I can’t remember a lot.
Friend, I’m saying all this to say, even our brains cannot handle it. Our brains shut down to protect us. They shut down because it’s too much for them to handle. Science proves what God already tells us. We are not capable of handling the things that this world will throw at us.
Yet, can I share some good news with you?
Friend, there is someone that can handle it. He handles it so well that he gives us a peace that can surpass all understanding. Yes, it’s Jesus. Jesus knows our pain and our suffering. Jesus is who we can turn to when we have nowhere else to go. We can lay our burdens at His feet and know that He is there to pick them up.
Will we immediately get relief? Will our prayers immediately get answered? No, probably not. My prayer wasn’t answered. I wanted to find my family member healthy and alive. Instead, she was in Heaven with Jesus. That wasn’t the answer to my prayer. Yet, there is a joy and a hope I can rest in because she is no longer in pain. She is no longer suffering. Instead, she is in Paradise next to the One who died for our sins.
This world is going to tell us that we can handle anything and that we are the strongest. When we listen to that worldly advice, we are left empty. That advice will never sustain us. It takes away from the One who can give us a hope and a strength that we won’t be able to find anywhere else.
Now, we know that this phrase can leave us hurting more than filled with comfort. As Christians, what can we do instead? How do we use these moments of struggle and tribulation to show Jesus’ strength, instead of going away from it?
When we, or a loved one, is hit with this we can offer support through prayer and through just being there. I believe there is such power in just sitting with that friend. We don’t have to fix it, instead we can validate their feelings and remind them that Jesus has them.
Friends, we have an incredible opportunity to showcase Jesus and remind them that Jesus is the one who provides comfort and strength when we need it. May we go to Him when we are feeling frustrated, sorrowful, or filled with despair.
May we lean on Jesus.
For more help on how to debunk these common self-help phrases, check out my latest book God’s Encouraging Word: True Comforts When Worldly Advice Fails. This is where I take eight of the popular self-help phrases and show you the toxicity of them and replace them with Truth and love that can only be found in Christ Jesus. You can grab it here.
