How many of you have been to an event, sat around tables with a bunch of other women, and been asked to introduce yourself? Do you usually start with “hi, my name is ______,” and follow that with what you do for work, hobbies you like to pursue in your free time, or maybe some vocation God has given you (think wife, mom, sister, friend, etc.)?
This is what I asked women from my church to do when we gathered this Fall for our yearly women’s retreat. I said, “tell the people around your table who you are.” As I listened to the conversations around the tables, I chuckled as they all responded exactly the way I thought they would.
There was much laughter when I brought them back as a group and informed them that they had all failed the assignment. I said, “I asked you to tell each other who you are, not what you do. I asked you to tell each other who you are, not about your relationship to other people.”
Sometimes our names are the deepest we get when answering the question “who am I?” We are very willing to talk about ourselves in relation to other people. Many of you are wives and moms, and your entire identity is wrapped up in your role within your family. Some of you are like me, young and single, and your identity becomes what you spend the majority of your time doing (i.e. what you do for a job).
Often when I introduce myself, I say, “my name is Rachel, and…” and then there’s a qualifier, usually what I do or who I know. Rarely do I talk about who I am.
Now to be sure, my identity is very closely linked to my vocation. “My name is Rachel and I’m an Assistant Worship Director who plays the piano and organ, directs musical ensembles, oversees service groups, writes worship services, and works on women’s retreats. I do this out of a love for the Lord and His people.”
Who I am influences the way I do what I do. My personality traits and my identity all inform the way I approach ministry. They also allow me to do so in a unique way because we are all unique individuals; they allow me to have a similar job description to my peers and still fulfill my role differently. Who I am informs what I do but it is not dictated by what I do.
My identity is also very closely linked to my relationships. “My name is Rachel and I am Ron and Carolyn’s oldest child and sister to Caroline, Sam, Hannah, Bekah, Grace, Ben, Emma, and John, and sister-in-law to Emmett, Katie, and David. I’m a proud auntie to Emmett, Maxwell, Adaline, Marcus, Mollie, and soon to be Eleanore. I am an honorary auntie to Josie and Hazel and I’m Hazel’s godmother. I am a friend to the different people God has brought into my life and someone who cherishes those relationships.”
Who I am influences each of these relationships, but who I am is not dependent on these relationships. Yes, I am a daughter and a sister and an auntie, but what if, God-forbid, some tragedy struck and all of those people were taken from my life? Who I am cannot be tied to the people in my life.
Then I described myself independently of my relationships and vocation. I said, “I am Rachel. I am by nature curious about the world and the people in it. I am fun-loving and a goofball. I’m a deep thinker and a recovering overthinker. I am an ambivert (equal parts introvert and extrovert). I am a person who feels things deeply, sometimes too deeply. I’m easily embarrassed and easily frightened, but very good at acting brave. I’m very open around my close friends, but it sometimes takes me a while to learn to trust other people.”
These personality traits get me closer to telling you who I am because they describe the way God made me and the ways He continues to grow me where I am. They, however, still do not fully answer the question, “Who am I?”
You see, the answer to the question “Who am I?” is so much simpler and sweeter than anything I could ever come up with on my own.
I am a child of God.
Who I am is dependent on Him and what He says about me.
I am wholly and dearly loved.
I am forgiven.
I am chosen.
I am Redeemed.
Everything is built on that foundation. Everything I said about myself before is true, but it all pales in comparison to the identity of “child of God.”
God made me fearfully and wonderfully, the unique combination of personality traits that I am. He did the same for you! All other aspects of your life are important, don’t get me wrong. But be careful, dear sister, not to confuse your vocation with your identity.
God might have made you very self-aware and resilient, and that makes you a beautiful role model for your family.
But most importantly….God made you His child.
God might have made you strong in mind, body, and spirit, and that enables you to wear the 50 million hats you wear in a day.
But most importantly….God made you His child.
God might have made you empathic, and that makes you a wonderful friend.
But most importantly….God made you His child.
God might have made you creative, and that allows you to make the world a more beautiful place.
But most importantly….God made you His child.
You are someone who is fearfully and wonderfully made, and so dearly loved that you are worth dying for!
If you are ever unsure about who you are, go to scripture. That’s where God reminds you that you are His child (1 John 3:1), that you are precious (Isaiah 43:4), that you are chosen (John 15:16), that you are blessed (Ephesians 1:3), that you are known (Psalm 139), that you are highly valued (Matthew 6:26), that you are free (Galatians 5:1), that you are called (1 Peter 2:9), and so many other wonderful things!
God’s Word is truth. He does not lie. This is your identity.
Who are you? You are exactly who God says you are. You are His child. May you live in that truth all the days of your life.
