Late in my twenties I was drowning.
The water. It felt manageable.
Go deeper. I can handle it. It’s fine.
Soon all I could see is water.
Things got rough. Unexpected things started pulling me under.
The water was all around me, on top of me, in me. Who could help? No one was there. There seemed to be no way out.
I was drowning in debt.
My credit card and student loan debt totaled 150% of my yearly income. 1 ½ times my salary. I had been making minimum payments on credit cards and continuing to charge things for 10 years. I was also paying on student loans. When the payments for the debts became higher than a car payment…or about 25% of my income, I knew it was never going away if I didn’t stop.
Debt is not always our fault. Situations happen beyond our control. We can’t plan for everything. Medical catastrophes. The car transmission. A storm wipes out property. Our insurance goes up. Our Iphone breaks. We lose a job. Things happen. Those budgeting people plan for emergencies, but no one can plan for everything.
But debt is sometimes our own fault. We didn’t plan for the surprises. We loved a car that was beyond our budget. Our living situation is more than we need. We overbuy on clothes and makeup and self-care. We can’t live without Starbucks. We take vacations when we don’t have the money. We say yes to friends when they want to have fun and spend on entertainment.
So let’s say it is our fault. I knew it was my fault. Spending beyond your means is usually a slow slide. You are not even living lavish, but just month after month and year after year, you slide further behind. That was me.
Can you relate? This is a hopeless place. It feels desperate and lonely. You can’t talk to anyone about it. You feel intense shame. But truly you don’t see a way out.
There is one way.
Believe that God provides.
That’s it.
Believe that it is true when He says He will provide. Here is where He says that:
Matthew 6:25-33
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?[g] And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
These are the words straight out of Jesus’ mouth! He takes care of birds and flowers and grass…so you can be SURE that He will take care of YOU!
I had to stop like someone quits an addiction. I cut up the credit cards and did everything possible to reduce spending. My safety net of credit cards was gone, which forced me to adjust my whole life.
It was work. God doesn’t do all the work for us in providing. I think He sees our sacrifice and our desire to change and He helps us.
I felt the pain of the hard thing that I was doing. It was a very challenging time with much sacrifice. But in the process I saw His provision when I needed it most. It grew my faith.
In every problem we get ourselves into, whether it is a situation or a sin, our fault or not so much…there will probably be a mess of stuff to deal with after.
God wants to walk with us through the mess.
Believe He will provide, and pray your little heart out. He desires a relationship with us and He will use anything He can to draw us in. Pray. Pray about every need. Financial needs. Personal needs. Pray for other people. I loved journaling, especially during that time.
I love how the Amplified Bible translates I Peter 5:7:
Cast all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].
1 Peter 5:7 (AMP)
Give all of your cares to Him and He will be there for you.
