We can’t change the past, but so many of us spend our present rewinding through those moments that didn’t go right.
We regret a decision or missed opportunity.
Sometimes it is just a regret for a decision we made. We made the decision at the time, and now we wish we would have done something different.
Years ago I got a phone call from an art museum in Michigan. They had seen my vintage automobile photos online and wanted me to show them in one of their smaller galleries next to their upcoming Formula One traveling exhibition. The catch…I had to print them all, at least 12×18 prints, have them framed, and deliver them to the museum.
After a few weeks of consideration and figuring out the cost, my husband and I decided that we couldn’t spend the money. We had recently gotten out of debt, and we weren’t swimming in cash. It seemed the responsible thing to do.
There are times I regret not doing it just because…who gets that kind of opportunity? I sometimes wonder what could have been next? Would it elevate me as a photographer? Would I sell prints? Or, would nothing happen?
We don’t spend money on frivolous “experiences”. And it may have led to places and a career that I was not fitted for. It was a decision where we didn’t have a clear right or wrong decision.
Even today I don’t think that we made a decision that was RIGHT. We just had to choose. Sometimes those decisions bring on the most regret.
I have to trust that God helped us make that decision. I tell myself that it seems disappointing sometimes, but I believe it was His better plan. There have only been a few times in those years that I have brought it out and thought, “What if?”, but then I put it back away, believing that I am living in God’s care and that I am where I am supposed to be.
No amount of regret will bring back that opportunity. I must keep moving on.
But you didn’t think that some art museum calling me was the biggest of the regrets I have experienced did you? I have known deep personal regret. The personal kind is where it hurts the most.
Maybe the regret you feel is very personal…something you said or didn’t say…someone you brought closer or someone you pushed away…someone hurt you or you hurt them.
Now it’s getting close…are you starting to feel it? That regret just wells up in you and wants to let all the tears out. You still struggle to understand it and it still torments you. Regret has taken hold and you can’t let go and move on.
You are constantly wondering, “What if?”
Getting yourself off the “what if” wheel of regret is not easy, but let’s look at the real reason for it:
You are not happy with the present.
That’s when it happens, right? The emotional gritty feelings rev up when discontent in the present life makes us regret the past. We let ourselves believe that life would be better now if we would have made a different decision then.
Maybe the decision you made in the past was even the WRONG decision. You knew it then and you did it anyway. You know it now and you punish yourself.
You can never live in the present if you don’t silence regret.
God never wanted us to live in the past. He showed us that by sending Jesus to die for all our sins and wipe clean our past. Wrong becomes forgotten. The past becomes our journey. The bad, the good, the falls, the failures, the joys and the pain…it all adds up to make a life. It is the life God gave us and He still has us in his hands. He still holds the future. He promises to walk with us. He promises to carry us. And He promises to make all things new.
Love yourself now. Because God does. Love your life now. Because it is a gift, from God, specifically and uniquely for you to live. Live it without regret.
Okay, if you are a tiny bit curious about the photos…just for fun, here ya go: The vintage automobile photos
