I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge where I am today. Not too long ago, I wrote here about burning out after spending ten years in a high-profile firm. Little did I know then that God was about to uproot everything in my life—or what seemed like everything. People’s lives change; they move away, or they move on, and soon after writing that article, our lives began to shift dramatically.
My family struggled to find our place in our community and church, despite our efforts. We tried to integrate, to contribute, but it felt like we were not needed, or even wanted. My daughter faced challenges at school, and I found myself involved in some complicated and challenging situations within the church. Despite my sincere efforts to contribute and help guide positive change, it was a difficult environment to navigate professionally and spiritually. My husband didn’t feel accepted, and the weight of all this began to take its toll on us. I felt pummeled and defeated, wondering why our efforts weren’t being reciprocated and why we weren’t wanted after everything I had done. I was volunteering so much time at our church that I had little time to work on the business I had started months prior. I thought I had left behind and moved on from what I had needed to and now focused on the right path – this was supposed to be our redeeming year. Bitterness started to grow and manifest.
As the situation deteriorated, we began exploring other options for church and school. We found a school just a couple of miles from our house—one where my daughter’s cousins would also be attending. The decision to switch schools and churches wasn’t easy; we knew it would be tough, and it was. Starting over is never easy. But sometimes, God has to lead you to a place where you need to be, even if that means leaving everything familiar behind.
For most of the year, I continued to long for a sense of community, wondering if we’d ever find our place. I had been watching a local church on YouTube recommended by my daughter’s new second grade teacher for a while, visiting discreetly, feeling a pull towards it. Deep down, I knew this was the one, but I was terrified. The fear of being hurt again, of being rejected or not feeling loved, loomed large. My husband, raised Catholic, encouraged me to talk to the pastor. But instead of listening, I snapped back in frustration—how could he suggest that when he didn’t even attend? The hurt I felt was overwhelming, and it made me lash out, though I later apologized.
Despite the tension, we both knew something needed to change and that something was missing. We talked about meeting the pastor together, and maybe, just maybe, Brian would join the church too. Summoning the courage, I sent the pastor an email. Then, with my heart in my throat, I called him and ended up spilling out the last four years of our struggles through tears. We met in his office, and later, Brian and I met with him together. That meeting led to something I hadn’t dared to hope for—Brian taking new member classes and eventually becoming a member of our church. An active member, no less.
This church, these people—they welcomed us with open arms, loving us from the very first day. Over the summer, we began building relationships with other families whose children attend the same school. It felt like we were finally where we were meant to be.
Today, as we dropped our daughter off for her first day of third grade, it was a far cry from last year. I remember last year so vividly—she was nervous, scared, anxious—she did NOT want to go. She had a rough year in first grade, even though her teacher was wonderful. Then, on top of that, she had to start all over again at a new school for second grade. It was a challenging time for her, and her self-assurance was at an all-time low.
But today, this girl shined with the light of Jesus. She was bright, happy, and so excited to go to school! She has friends, she has supportive educators and Pastors, and not only that, but we as a family have also found our place, rooted in Jesus’s kindness and love.
There are many things in this world that will let you down, but He will not. Stay the course, be kind, be bold, and lead with love.
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” (Isaiah 26:3, ESV)
If you’re in the thick of it—maybe even for years—remember, you are never alone. God is right there. You may not see His plans for you, but trust me, He knows exactly what you need. I had no idea; I thought I did. I thought I could fix it myself, seven times over. But don’t ever be too sure of the soil you’re standing on, or for that matter, don’t be so sure of yourself. Be sure in God. You don’t have to know or figure it out today—He will, and He knows exactly when.